"You got birch beer? I bet you don't know what that is."

I've seen a lot of movies. So it truly surprised me when I came across this video on YT of a clip of a movie that I hadn't seen. With Jeff Goldblum and Larry Fishburne Jr., Deep Cover was one of those video sleeves that I just scoffed at and went right on to to something else. However, after watching this video entitled "Don't Fuck With Jeff Goldblum" I may have made one of the biggest mistakes of my childhood years ago.



Gosh, he's just so menacing even Larry is afraid of him. And for followers of the link, I'd like to point out that Caruso was seriously enjoying that.

TGIF

...just to clarify that Jason Voorhees is better than Freddy Krueger or Michael Myers, here's the original Friday the 13th trailer for your viewing pleasure. Yeah it kinda spoils the movie, but not as much as the fact that ol'-Hockey-Mask wasn't actually the killer in the original. It was his mother, played by Betsy Palmer. Jesus, I just remembered that, I didn't even have to look it up. Shoot me now.



And if any of you start whining spoilers... hush it. BTW, there's a remake of the best and tackiest horror franchise coming on February, Friday the 13th 2009. Say it with me now. Woo-hoo!

Artificial Cheese Flavoring is Your New God

I'd imagine you've already seen this, you savvy reader.

There are some things that you simply have to admire on the biggest holiday on the Christian calendar. Thanks to a Cheeto-loving youth minister in Nebraska, the world now has Cheesus Christ. I found this over at the Slog, which found it over at dlisted. So what? I'm passing it on to you.

FD4: Czech Your Soul At the Offramp

Life imitating cheap franchise-horror-kinda-art?

No doubt you've already heard on Thursday a massive 116 car pileup happened over in the Czech Republic. Authorities blame the snow. What do I blame? Death. That's right, Death. With a capital D. I'd like to recount this movie that came out in 2003 featuring a premonition with what could possibly be, the most stupendous scene of twisted metal that really has yet to be topped. I never have looked at logging trucks the same way since. I'm guessing the 33 people that were injured, however not dead, will be face-to-face with ghastly consequences from seemingly harmless appliances and freak accident situations in the coming months.

Speaking of freak accidents, Steve Irwin isn't alone. A woman down in the Florida keys takes it in the face from a stingray and doesn't live to tell of the tail. Or tale. Either one. Either way, that's a freakishly ray-related accident that just sometimes happens. But the truth is, there's hundreds of ray-related accidents. Some may be happening on your television right now.



Lock your doors and kill your TV. That's why the internet was invented.

Stop me if....

I've been telling this joke for about three weeks since Tim told it to me. My jaw dropped when I found this on a random blog I clicked on. It's been entertaining me endlessly since I found it. But I feel bad for laughing. The site is filled with terrible terrible venues for entertainment. It reminds me of when I was young, the internet was still a baby, and a friend showed me Stileproject. It's kinda like that. But with less gonzo porn. Besides, at least I'm not pimping 2G1U. Right?

Ladies and gentlemen, I link you to ignoredprayers. Viewer discretion is strongly advised. (Try to) Enjoy.

Name drop #3

I know if I started a band I'd at least name one of the albums after an 80's movie reference. Like Venkman. That's why I appreciate Fujiya & Miyagi and I'd like to spread their name to you readers, with the exception of Ted. Ted is a P-I-M-P. Sorry, OT. But in any case, I'm going to make this easy on you guys and just give you a video to watch. Here's F&M with their song "Ankle Injuries".



That's the second video I've seen this week that features dice. The other one was Lil' Wayne's T-Pain-inspired "Lollipop" where Carter is featured holding dice-shaped suckers. If I find out where to get them, I've got a feeling I'll feature them in the future. Back on point, what makes this band even niftier you'd think based on the name there's only two members. Wrong. There's three. Theres the Ampersand. He's on bass.

I'd also like to spread the love with a little song about cheating and being outfront about it. I always thought this was The Police. Whoops. Is it just me or are there a lot of Brits in this entry?

Belarus Magic

Yesterday, October 15, Belarus road police act a fool on a couple of Minsk residents. Police stopped four cars and asked them to be repositioned to stop a oncoming drunk driver. A highway human pinball machine essentially. The drivers and their company were still in their cars at the time of the multi-accident. Aside from head injuries, no one was severly hurt.



Slick!

Food Fight -

Now this is awesome. A food fight fashioned after all of the US-involved military attacks from WW2 to present day.
Get your war on. With nation appropriate foods.
Tourist Picture's official site for your viewing pleasure. Also featured? Portland's finest Menomena has their latest video at TP as well. Plug, plug. Gitty plug.

Rosebud

Every good news reporter knows that for the gritty, the devil is in the details. Every good news reporter, too, knows that being at the scene is even more important. Reporter Rob Leth for the Global News Toronto comes equipped with a cameraman and a "trusty" stopwatch to document a sled race. Hopefully Rob knows to read between the lines on his next assignment. A cracked tail bone and a punctured spleen can't be good.

"That was a bad idea. At Riverside Park, Rob Leth. Global News."

Mintz-Plasse gets maniacal

So I've landed the job. I got the message this morning that I'm going in for training Saturday evening. To prepare, I've been doing a lot of push ups, pull ups, brushing and flossing my teeth, in addition to rinsing with Listerine to ensure that I'm "The Man" for the (second place) job. I've also begun a dietary regimen of eggs and yogurt for breakfast, and basically variations on my amazing Siracha-infused Annie's Mac and Cheese for lunch/dinner.

Don't click on that link. It's "Annie's" mascot, Bernie, yes the rabbit. He has a MySpace page. There's Jack Johnson. There's even a link to an offsite blog, over at the official website annies.com. You can find it here.

I also found out today aside that bunnies are basically all Bunnicula, that Annie of aforementioned Annie's Pasta fame, actually created Smartfood Popcorn, basically the reason why white cheddar was invented.

OK, so there isn't a blog. It was a faulty link. My bad. Blame the bunny eating the cables. Blame Bernie.

And remember... the celery stalks at midnight. Man, I loved 2nd grade.

And now something completely different... Superbad. As a horror flick.

Street Smart

Ludacris is giving the recognition he deserves.Here's a link to a site called Strange Maps who gives us a US map which has "ho-zones" for all those mentioned in the song "Area Codes". Featuring that man who boasted that he gets more ass than a toilet seat.



Hopefully Luda didn't catch any Two-Oh-Sickness while he was up here. It appears from a aerial view that he spread the East Coast like crabs. Which brings me to...

Yo mama's so nasty, she made Speed Stick slow down.



And just in case you didn't know that Snoop and Nate Doggs were from the Rollin' 20's Crips, Know Gangs has that information and so much more.

Get Julie away from those kids!

Matt Damon for threesomes

It's not a mystery that Sarah Silverman is one of the funniest girls out there. Though if someone reached that conclusion only from Jesus is Magic, I'd probably scratch my head. Nevertheless, Sarah Silverman showed up on her pillow pal Jimmy Kimmel's show either last night or the night before with an awful truth.