Muldersniffic

Fox Mulder sure looks like he's gone lupine....

Promo still from the upcoming XF2 movie

OH NOES!

Get Julie away from those kids!

Hasselhoff'D!

The term is nothing new.

But how the hell can the Seattle Design Commission and the Landmark Preservation Board trade in a Trans Am for a Mustang and adding to the uglification that is becoming Market Avenue? How can the LPD put up a fight to retain the right to look at a "landmark" just to have the sucker torn down and then re manufactured? How hysterical is it that by adding a Denny's to the top of a condominium is basically forcing the old Ballardians that have been going to said store for years are now forced to wait two years and have to listen to ungodly elevator music on their ascent for a Grand Slam?

Not to mention the elevators are going to be treated like the old Ballard D's toilet stalls were.

OK, that might be reaching just a little bit. But I've seen some crazy things happen over pancakes.

I feel sorry for David Hasselhoff. I really do. First his Wendy's advertisement was a total bomb, then his name becomes synonymous with shaving with a chandelier, and now the Knight Rider remake? About time ole Dave goes back to Germany. Where he can get the chance he truly deserves.

Service. With a smile?

Okay.

I'll just divulge what I do. I'll just put it on the table as, I dare say, I put over medium eggs on plates. I'm a server at an outrageous family-orientated restaurant. I like to think I'm an honest-to-God bartender. I make good money for the store, considering I'm doling out pancakes and extra syrup. I figure if I'm going to blog, I might as well blog about my mundane, but maybe your entertainment.

Take a look at my job's latest ad campaign.

Last weekend I'm serving this two-top(I'm also going to have to publish a glossary for the lingo). This deuce is an older pair, I'm guessing mid fifties-early sixties. Denny's has place mats. Said place mats suggest that a "real breakfast isn't served with a spork."

Now check this. Mr. and Mrs. Matlock look up at me confusingly as their coffee arrives, "What's a spork?"

Fuck me running.

I bounced this story over to one of my favorite baristas and she suggested this.

You guys got served.

"Nothing quite as breathtaking..."

Shaved.

I've been watching this show starring Fox Mulder or Zalman King( OK, but he WAS on Red Shoe Diaries, but not the movie). Its called Californication, that Showtime show that nearly got raped from Flea and his band mates. Basically the show is just tits and ass, but for a half an hour you get David Duchovny ( I almost spelled that right the first time ) playing a burnt out has-been writer living in LA drinking and getting laid a lot. And he's surly.

He's basically Tommy Gavin, but without all the heartwrenching death.

The only thing I really don't like about the show is the really dumb opening. The show is centered around a character who loathes himself for being who he is in what age he's living in. He's a writer in the blog world. The opening credit sequence looks like a bad early 90s grunge video. But with no singing. If Fox Mulder were to star in Singles 2: Electric Boogaloo, it's already been made. Roll credits.

Confidential to Cass: Hollah.

Matt Damon for threesomes

It's not a mystery that Sarah Silverman is one of the funniest girls out there. Though if someone reached that conclusion only from Jesus is Magic, I'd probably scratch my head. Nevertheless, Sarah Silverman showed up on her pillow pal Jimmy Kimmel's show either last night or the night before with an awful truth.

Febru-arrrrrrr-y

I get first dibs on the new month.

Dibs.

Who wants to go drinking on the 29th with me. Promise it's not cheating. The day doesn't even exist, it's like the prologue to March. And who writes a prologue nowadays? It's called a PREQUEL.